Matthew 18:21-35 (AMPC)

21 Then Peter came up to Him and said, Lord, how many times may my brother sin against me and I forgive him and [a]let it go? [As many as] up to seven times?

22 Jesus answered him, I tell you, not up to seven times, but seventy times seven!

23 Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a human king who wished to settle accounts with his attendants.

24 When he began the accounting, one was brought to him who owed him 10,000 talents [probably about $10,000,000],

25 And because he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and his children and everything that he possessed, and payment to be made.

26 So the attendant fell on his knees, begging him, Have patience with me and I will pay you everything.

27 And his master’s heart was moved with compassion, and he released him and forgave him [cancelling] the debt.

28 But that same attendant, as he went out, found one of his fellow attendants who owed him a hundred denarii [about twenty dollars]; and he caught him by the throat and said, Pay what you owe!

29 So his fellow attendant fell down and begged him earnestly, Give me time, and I will pay you all!

30 But he was unwilling, and he went out and had him put in prison till he should pay the debt.

31 When his fellow attendants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed, and they went and told everything that had taken place to their master.

32 Then his master called him and said to him, You contemptible and wicked attendant! I forgave and cancelled all that [great] debt of yours because you begged me to.

33 And should you not have had pity and mercy on your fellow attendant, as I had pity and mercy on you?

34 And in wrath his master turned him over to the torturers (the jailers), till he should pay all that he owed.

35 So also My heavenly Father will deal with every one of you if you do not freely forgive your brother from your heart his offenses.

I have read this many times but life’s circumstances has a way of highlighting a truth we already know. The question that Peter poses is certainly relevant today. Because we are all in process of being perfected you can be fairly confident that someone will offend us with words or actions that require forgiveness. We all know we are to forgive. What I like about Peter’s candor is that he is really asking, what about the person who just keeps on offending me?

When is enough enough? Jesus replies 70×7 or 490 times!  It is hard to imagine being offended by the same person 490 times. Honestly 2 times feels like too much to me. 5 or 10 times and I am ready to walk…Jesus makes a point that we simply have to choose to keep forgiving, over and over again. It is interesting that Jesus follows this command with a story about finances.

I read the following on a CBN post:

“Forgive” is a financial term that simply means to cancel the debt. The person recognizes the debt as such and makes the internal personal decision to release the offender from his indebtedness. Forgiveness is often misunderstood. It is significantly different and often confused with such things as ignoring the offense, trying to forget it and reconciliation of the relationship. Choosing to forgive is a personal, conscious and powerful choice of the will. Choosing to release the offender from his or her indebtedness is to be like the Lord Himself.”

Releasing the offender from a debt. I really liked that, it feels exactly like Grace. They simply do not owe me anything any longer. Keeping track of a debt can be time consuming. You have to keep a ledger of what is owed. Every time a new amount is owed you have to enter it in to keep track.

However the Lord tells us to “let it go”. Letting it go is actually much harder than the song, although I find  myself singing the tune as I utilize the principle. To let it go, to not hold onto the offense I have to stop the mental tape player  from replaying the offense. I believe once again Paul teaching serves us well.

2 Corinthians 10:5 

[Inasmuch as we] refute arguments and theories and reasonings and every proud and lofty thing that sets itself up against the [true] knowledge of God; and we lead every thought and purpose away captive into the obedience of Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One),

It is a proud thing to hold an offense in our minds. Just like fear or anger and offense needs to be let go. We can’t hold on to it and relive it. We must take control and lead the thought right out of our minds. If we don’t take control of our thoughts we are the ones to pay the price. Resentment and anger over an offense eat away at our joy and peace. Holding on to an offense will keep us captive.

Jesus tells us to forgive from our hearts. This is the test for me. I have been able to forgive with my mind and my mouth and still hold on to resentment in my heart. If I check in there I know if there is still work to be done.

I realize there are degrees of offenses. Some are much more difficult to let go of. For those we need the supernatural ability only God can provide, and He always will. Ask and it shall be given. The Holy Spirit enables us to love and forgive. In my life it usually requires I pray for the offender, my heart is always changed in prayer.

So we are to forgive freely and from our hearts as we let the debt go. That said I do believe developing a life with boundaries is wisdom. If you are able to protect yourself from future offenses by creating healthy boundaries it is scriptural. We are the temple of God and protecting ourselves from physical and emotional harm is to protect God’s beloved.

Of course if you find that you are the one who has offended another, run, don’t walk to seek forgiveness. God’s will is that we all live in unity. The enemy loves nothing better than tearing us apart over the minor and the major offenses of life. Offenses without forgiveness equal a win on his part.

I was reminded of 2 Corinthians 13:

Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].

It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.

Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].

And of course I have to add one of my favorite relationship verses:

Galatians 6:2

Bear (endure, carry) one another’s burdens and troublesome moral faults, and in this way fulfill and observe perfectly the law of Christ (the Messiah) and complete what is lacking [in your obedience to it].